life is not nice nymore, i had it up to tis, i've been holdin back everythin n keepin it all inside whenever certain individuals tease or make fun of me, n they noe tt they dun like to be in such a position then why do it nywyaes.. damn shit.. dun they realise tt.. they tink they so gd like god or sumthin but it jux proves tt they are so wrong, WTF.. realisation may take some time but tis is taking too long.. maybe my initial plan to jux keep quiet is back-firin but i guess it not my fault since ppl are so freakin abrasive..

invisible or jux ignored, seems like ppl are actually superficial in everythin they do, actin nice infront but i guess i'll nvr noe wat they talk bout behind my back, freakin shit pretenders... then again they owe nuthin to me so its up to their own free will to do watever they wan.. so who's in the lost.. surely them, not only they waste time n breath, they dun actually affect me..since they got no balls to mention it upfront..then again i got quite a high-self esteem.. to not be bother wit such remarks or maybe i've grown wit it all along to be immune now..

didnt actually do nythin todae, was home at ard six after overnitin at shawn's, didnt realise tt i was usin comp till nine then went to shop for chocolates n doughnut.. watch some tv n now usin comp again.. borin life..hahak..pity me.. gonna prac tml, dunno who's gonna turn up.. feels so inspired by the performances last sat.. cant wait to perform in any kinda of performance.. hopefully soon.. there's teachers dae but its not enuff though.. performin is so addictive but in a good wae.. seriously, if u perform once u will definitely wanna perform again.. so perform wit mE!!!!!!!!!!

went to remix comp wit s'funk..met qie there n ayu n a.d.. sera n her bf was there too.. n alot more ppl.. hamzah too.. dash won..expected from their performance.. hakim won the battle thingy n B.A.D performed at the end.. wooHoo!!! nice.. then we went to eat at BK.. wana, lenny, kam n me walked to orchard then met up wit sera again.. took mrt home.. n cab wit sera from cck.. it was their 6mnths.. so sweet.. feel like dancin rite now.. hahk..

had prac todae wit alot of ppl, alfy (denvers) came over n helped out.. he did jumps n gymnastics which was so perfect, n his strength is wow.. wish i could be like tt.. nywywaes.. things are letting up which is kinda nice though there will alwaes be flaws.. talkin bout flaws.. i realise tt i got alot of them.. my face is getting worst.. n my wardrobe is not improvin or even increasin in size... my strength is not goin up.. but im still contented wit wat i have right now.. though is not much..

alot of ppl have been tellin me bout bein contented wit watever tt i have n am but i nvr did get to feel it.. i was so sure tt i shld n must get more of everythin i own.. only from tt moment sumtime ytd nite did i get to feel otherwise.. thnx ban for makin me realise.. n to the others who tried too, sorie.. i guess its the moment tt made me overcome my self-righteousness.. i feel so much lighter todae..like i don't have nymore burden lyin on me.. but there's still one thing.. liyana, y is it the wae tt u sae it is? i wanna noe..tell me..

thursdae was such a beautiful dae, i did things tt i have alwaes wanted to for so long... like doin a maths sum on paper, tts was all i needed to make myself happy, n everythin was alot better after tt.. met ban n slept over his house.. another one thing tt i alwaes wanted to do.. cool.. but i didnt have my contact's container so we used tis small glass n put my contacts in wit solution of cuz n we wrap the top part wit plastic lauk n rubber band.. great idea u got there.. helped me wake up early which is hard n borrowed me his tshirt n oso did my hair.. thanx to him i went to sch early the nxt dae, in fact i was the first to come to class, lookin all nice n stuff.. saw boo at yew tee mrt.. some diff in her hair..very nice.. did a debate in class..sumthin i like.. n went home after tt.. slept till ard 11 n woke up only to sleep again ard 2plus.. thnx ban for everythin..muachachas..

ytd we went out as the fantastic four, meanin ayu, taufiq, shawn n me.. we ate at cavana which turn out to be very nice..terriyaki chicken but yoshinoya still nicer..hahahk.. nywyaes went to the esplanade dance space met qie n linda n quisha, blique n UV.. we did our thang, well basically more foolin ard..went back at 11 like tt, saw tis hot causian ladies n shawn jux couldnt behave.. played the "sape last suke..." game again n shawn was last..hahahk.. saw mamasan in the mrt, cant stop laughin even till now.. still missin everyone though, jux wish i could turn back time to before.. nuthings happenin.. no meetin, no hangin, no fun, no clique, no nuthin..

inequality, disparity, dissimilarity, variation, difference, discrimination, unfairness, inequity, disproportion, imbalance, bias, injustice, partiality, one-sidedness, , prejudice, favoritism, bigotry, unethicalness, unethicality, dishonesty, dishonorableness, deceitfulness, fraudulence, falseness, underhandedness, crookedness, wrongness, iniquitousness, unreasonableness, inequitableness, bias..

had prac jux now, but only harny n me cuz ayu saed she lazy to come..cool.. nywywaes, shawn came over but he went to some faraway blocks of flat.. thnxz to harny, he finally found her house.. prac till bout 7 plus then went to cwp to eat at siam kitchen, harny went to town, then we went to sk, bought tis nice jeans which is very low cut but somehow its for unisex.. then we went home n only then we realise tt shawn brought his new cam n we took a few pics.. hahahk..

ytd shawn stayed over my house till bout 6am, we talked n sing n do crappy stuff..hahhak.. now im over at naz's new place, later gonna help him paint his room together with monez.. hopefully we can finish before 3pm cuz im havin prac at harny's wit ayu only, bubz got kenduri, syira workin n fiza not free.. so the 3 of us only.. havent really tot my steps to share yet.. but we're progressin, n im hopin for liyana to be apart of tis.. im very hungry now.. i need to eat!!!!!!!! give mE food!!

i really have to express tis, ppl may tink tt its bout tis certain person but its definitely not, so here goes.. i've been keepin tis to myself so long n its hurtin, the thing is, i miss u, but it seems like u dun get my point, its been so long since we met n hang out, do things together, dun u miss any of those moments, cuz i gotta be direct, i do, i really do miss those moments n wish for more of such but it dun seem to happen at all, wishin nvr works.. a phone cal after so long since we've met up is not enuff.. i dun wanna be seen as a paranoid case or freak nymore cuz i've already been looked at in such, but i dun care nymore cuz tis is wat i wan, u to noe bout how i feel.. im becomin too emotional cuz its gettin harder everydae n u wont noe till i tell u, i hope tt u read tis..hopefully..soon..

ytd was fun, went to town wit taufiq, ayu n shawn... initially planned to go home straight after sch to do things tt i do alone but met up wit taufiq on the wae to mrt.. got my first mrt concession..wooHoo.. nywywaes.. spent time at town, eatin, playin arcade n dancin at taka garden.. missed charmed for tis guys.. cant believe i actually did tt for them.. was incredibly mean towards shawn by not talkin to him after a remark he made.. sorie.. wont do it again..ahahkz.. todae lesson is like pointless..nvm.. having prac later cant wait to do stunts again.. OC is on later after LOST n then there's one tree hill.. surely sleepi late again..

was doin nuthin todae cuz i didnt go sch again.. up until shawn asked me to meet him at cck park.. talkin to him was nice.. being open to ny single thing.. we went to eat at siam kitchen n then went to cck park again.. we sang together the wae i do wit harny last time.. it was nice.. hopin to sing again wit harny soon..nywywaes.. then we went to eat again wit ayu, but we didnt eat, of course.. hahak... nywyaes nywyaes... missin all my fwens to the core rite now but they seem to not do nythin..maybe i dun mean nythin to them nymore or nvr have i mean nythin to them before..

doin nuthin rite now, hopin ppl will cal me, but none so far.. leadin a very lame life.. tryin hard to plan how to save my nxt monthly allowance cuz i really need to get an mp3 n a camera.. n new phone.. using too much cash for the past two mnths.. help me.. i need to noe how to save..nywyaes tml is youth dae but i still have sch.. enterprise.. will try to give my best to get tt B..hopefully.. need to buck up on my grades to get a gd GPA.. hopin for an honours..

i slept over at shawn's ytd, jux didnt feel like goin home, actually still dun but im at home now.. ban had to come over witout me bein there cuz he needed back his stuff.. my apologies.. went to support wana's fwen at skate comp, ayu was late as always.. then we went to eat, the rest ate at kfc while i ate at yoshinoya wit shawn but he didnt eat considerin tt place is not halal.. then ate the nice bananas at estellar.. shawn n pan went home while we continued walkin ard, spent a long time at cold storage n bought durian..hahahk, we ate tt outside taka n ppl were lookin at us as if out of disbelief.. then we went to youthopia exclaim, B.A.D was so good.. they didnt win though, not fair..

ppl are so not nice to me, tis sux real bad, im like not included in tiny conversation or even team discussion.. my team sux.. nywyaes im really lookin forward for class to end.. cuz im gonna watch ghost train wit ayu n shawn.. but before tt accompanying taufiq to meridian sumthin for a job thingy.. nxt sat is the rara cheer comp.. im pissed cuz we havent prac for it and its a very big thing meanin magnum is joinin too.. wit our standard n time constrain there is no way we're gonna win.. n the thing bout sidik is tt he takes ppl from outside to join witout consultin us.. tis ppl are new n inexperience however they are so slow to work wit, seems rather impossible to get thru to them.. i dun tink they even understand a word tt ayu or me saed.. kays, we combine grp as sphyntrix, vtrix secondary cat, sphynx open cat.. so vrtix has to be from teck whye sec, sphynx members can come from any woks of life, so in a way the new n slow ppl tt sidik brings in is in sphnyx.. only tt they are not good at all to be in any cheerleading grp, tis so freakin not fair.. but watever..shit u!!